3 things that mamis do that drive him away!

1. Chasing after him

The vast majority of the time, if a guy likes you, he will let you know. It will be obvious. There won’t be any mixed messages or hidden clues to decipher. If he likes you, he will make it known and he will ask you out. Your only job is to show enough interest to let him know he won’t be shot down. This does not need to be obvious and over the top. A sweet smile and sultry eye contact will get the job done.

If a guy has the opportunity to be with you and he just doesn’t take it, then he just doesn’t like you enough.

Rather than just cut their losses, a lot of lasses go on a quest to convince this guy that he should want to be with her. She’ll text him funny things, happen to show up places where she knows he’ll be, she’ll initiate conversations, she may even ask him out. The guy may respond to her advances by being polite, and she may mistake this as him being somewhat interested, but he really doesn’t seem to reciprocate the feelings. He may reply when you reach out, but he never initiates.

If there is any hope of him developing feelings for you, you will effectively kill it by chasing after him. Maybe this sounds unfair, why can’t you take a proactive approach to your love life and pursue him? Because you just can’t. Because it’s just not how things work. Because there is no need to pursue a man… if he likes you, then he’ll let you know. You can’t undo centuries of societal norms. This is how things have always been and it’s just how they are.

2. Being self-obsessed

Relationships typically fall apart when your focus stops being on the person you’re with and starts shifting to you. When you focus on your own wants, your own worries, your own fears, your own needs, and pay no attention to how your guy feels and experiences things, you essentially turn him into an object who is a means to an end.

The reason a lot of women can’t keep a guy’s interest beyond a few dates is because she gets so fixated on achieving some sort of relationship goal (like being official), and on figuring out how he feels. When you do this, you aren’t connecting with him as a person, you are using him as a means to feel good about yourself and worthy of love and that is not the pathway towards a meaningful connection.

Sure, you might do things for him. You might cook for him, clean his house, help him with some assignments, perform his favorite sexual moves in bed, tell him how much you like him, but none of that really penetrates a man’s psychology on a deep and meaningful level. The reason is because it isn’t genuine, rather, you are doing certain things in order to get him to feel certain things for you, and maybe do certain things for you. But this isn’t what activates a man’s desire to commit and doesn’t make him bond or invest in your further. What gets you there is getting outside of yourself and really seeing him for who he is.

3. Being too needy

Usually when people talk about neediness they talk about a set of behaviors: calling too much, being too available, getting jealous, wanting all of his time and attention, etc. However, neediness goes beyond behavior. It’s a mindset, and from that mindset certain behaviors can manifest.

Some examples include: constantly needing reassurance that he still cares, panicking if he doesn’t call or text back right away, getting jealous if he spends time with anyone else, making him the sole center of your universe, obsessing over him, feeling terrified he’ll leave you, and so forth.

Neediness usually comes from an emptiness within that we believe somebody else can fill for us. We may come to believe that some other person can give us something emotionally that we can’t give ourselves: a feeling of being OK, of being worthy of love, of feeling good about ourselves. The problem is someone else can’t give us those things; they come from within.