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Many damsels relish the thought of being the main chic in their relationships. The sad news is many are not. He could be stuck on your mind yet you are not stuck on his. You could be parked somewhere in his heart only to be retrieved during an emergency. And sulking and causing a scene for being ignored will not solve a thing. It’s best you know your place in his life and choose what’s best for you. It’s either you hang on and wait for him to change his ways or hit the road and look for the love you deserve. Here are sure signs that you are a back-up plan for him:

1. He refuses to define the relationship.

You have dated him for a great length of time but he still cannot define the relationship. If you turn to him for clarity, he shoves you with mean comments.

“What more do you want?  Just wait, time will tell .”

Babe, listen, if he’s got you as his main chic, chances are he will define the relationship without you having to ask him to do the same.

2. Abrupt dates and cancelled plans.

Does he call you past 10 PM to invite you for a hangout with no prior arrangements?

Chances are that his main chic is fast asleep, or she kicked him out and your arms are a sure bet for him to relieve him of his boredom or stress.

Does he call after the abrupt date to check on you and plan another “date”? If he only reaches out to you when he has another abrupt date in mind, then you are most definitely a back-up plan.

Is he a poor planner or is it that he just doesn’t love the idea of you? Does he plan for dates and see them through? Ask yourself that. If he is the type that cancels dates at the last minute without any apparent reason, then am sorry. He has better things to do and you are definitely not part of his plans.


3. His corny phone game.

If he loves/likes you deeply enough, he’ll keep in touch with you. If he’s got you as a back-up, chances are he’ll only reach out to you when he needs you.

He’ll probably call you up when he’s drunk and forget about it the following morning. He may even ring you up in the night to ask you for a small favour.

Please don’t entertain his corny phone game. He only reaches out to you when things are not going well with his main chic. Wait till they get back together then you will be a long-forgotten story!  

4. He never shows you off.

Your dates happen to be behind closed doors probably at his abode. He makes very little effort to have you around. His place could be a mess and he probably makes no arrangement for the food and drinks when you visit him.

After the pekejeng’  is  done,  does he shove you away and ignore you like the plague?  Does he escort you to your place or atleast take a cab for you and maybe foot the transport fee?

If he doesn’t want to be seen around with you, chances are that he just wants you for the convenience. Do not parade him on social media if he doesn’t do the same for you. Maybe he wants the relationship to be the deepest secret yet you are there parading him. If you happen to walk with him, notice the distance he keeps between the both of you. If you cite some discomfort from his end then he probably has no place for you in his heart. Kanyaga kubwa kubwa.

5. He has refused Closure.

When you realize that you are dating yourself you may opt-out of the relationship. How does he take it? Does he agree to sit down and talks things through or does he leave you hanging?

He may refuse to end things so that you can hang around and he may use you for his benefit. He may still hang around even when you have officially ended the relationship. All in the hope that you may change your mind and remain a slave to him.

But remember, nothing’s going to change if you get back to him. Seek the purest of love girl and resist being a second option!

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