Are you socially inept?-How to get confident again
Socialization is part and parcel of us, especially when in our youthful days. We form squads and all manner of clicks just to not seem socially awkward or be labelled as lonely. Some of us are actually socially inept. No new friends…nothing! What happens when you are so over it and want to get your confidence back?
#1 Practice as often as you can. Get out and practice socializing as much as you can. Nothing is going to make you feel more comfortable than being out there and making it a norm. You can even practice what you’re going to say and everything so you’ll be prepared.
#2 Stick with a socially savvy person. If you have a friend or two who are great at socializing, stick by their side. Not only will you learn a lot from having them around, but they’ll be able to easily insert you into conversations to help you out a little.
#3 Ask your friends for help. Your friends want to help you – especially if they know how bad you are at being social. Ask them what areas you fall flat in, and then practice conversations with them in private so you can get better at it when you finally do go out.
#4 Prepare to go socialize. Get ready, and mentally prepare yourself. Knowing that you’ll be socializing can help calm your mind once you actually get there. You can also go over certain topics you want to talk about and make sure you have something to say to get into that specific conversation.
#5 Frequency is your friend. I know it’s really hard to go out a lot when you really don’t like it, but the more you socialize, the easier it will become. You’ll pick up on cues and hints other people give you, and you’ll be able to figure out what to say in different situations.
#6 Don’t give up just because one thing went wrong. If you say something embarrassing or feel really awkward around someone, don’t just give up. Excuse yourself to freshen up in the bathroom or to get some air and collect your thoughts. Pull yourself together and get back to socializing. You’ll find that this can help you remain calm when you get nervous in the future.
#7 Just be yourself. That sounds cliché, but it’s also very true. Many socially inept people have trouble because they feel as though they’ll be judged for speaking how they want to, so they say what they think people want to hear. Only, it comes across as not genuine, and people can tell they’re trying too hard.
#8 Let other people do the talking. If you’re not very good at adding to conversations, be the person to ask questions. Ask someone about certain things and keep the topic on them or things they’re good at talking about. This can make you seem like a fantastic listener, and it’ll still be socializing with minimal effort.
#9 Find confidence elsewhere, too. Don’t just seek confidence through socializing. Go get your hair cut, go to the gym and get really fit, and wear something you feel great in. Being confident in other aspects of your life can help make socializing so much easier, and you’ll feel much more confident doing it.
#10 Go out with the intention to just have fun – not be great at socializing. Instead of going out in order to socialize, just go out to have fun! Go to a bar where there’s a lot of dancing and less talking. If you focus on having fun, you’ll look and feel much better about yourself – even if you do end up socializing with people.