BANG FIT: WHERE SEX MEETS FITNESS

Sex is evolving guys! I have come to slowly realize that sex is the best exercise. Actually, it’s the most enjoyable form of exercise compared to all other forms of exercise for sure. I am a terrible procrastinator, but when it comes to sex. I’m like ‘you should have hit me up like last week!’ It’s my newest venture of exercise, and I can keep it up for as long as possible. I understand that most people are often sceptical about this ‘bang fit’ theory, but the truth is that once I’m done with my sex sessions, I’m usually worked out like hell! Am normally out of breath after that, and that should be clear proof of the fat that I’ve burnt doing all that work.

However, if you don’t find that exercise enough, then I wonder what the hell you’ve been doing. Have you just been tickling women and calling that sex? As a man, you should only boast of smashing a chick if you came out of that playing ground sweaty and worked out. If you can’t do so then know you are either not physically fit to be proud as a man, I mean ‘wale wanaume wana umama ndani yao’ or she is just not your type.

The best way to find out if a woman is your type is to have sex with her. If you find the match too difficult then she is above your league. If it’s too easy then she is below your league. You need a woman that challenges you. You need a woman that makes you sweat but at the end of the day you ‘rarua’ that thing properly. Why do you think our ladies nowadays like this bullshit of ‘my trainer?!’ ’Our yoga instructor?!’ My guy, there is nothing like a trainer or instructor.

If you hear the sexual fantasies these women discuss and misdemeanors that go down in these so-called ‘fitness centers’, you wouldn’t believe it. That’s why you see your women starting to glow once they start hitting the gym. That’s what we call ‘bang fit’: complimenting workouts with sex.

Men should, therefore, take matters into their own hands and kill two birds with one stone. Stop paying that gym fee and adopt this new form of bang fit in your own bedroom. Merge sex with a workout for a better fitness experience, healthier relationship and a happier marriage. Even the porn industry has developed some apps to assist with this as well, so you shouldn’t give any excuse.

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I will give you a few routines that can assist with your new ‘bang fit’ lifestyle. You can try out, cowgirl crunches, missionary press, squat and thrust, booty bumpers and downward doggy. Your sex workout should be a thrill. Consider it a new venture where you have to keep on challenging each other every time you have sex.

You can time yourself just like a normal workout session. Then keep on adjusting the time every time you have sex. It also helps you train yourselves to last longer in bed and have better sex than the usual boring sex. Make your sex workout as fun as possible! You can even invent your own sex workout routines! For more information on sex and fitness grab a copy of The Outsyder in The Nairobian every Friday.