Why do parents bring up their sons with the mentality that crying or any display of emotions is weak? As a matter of fact, it’s not.
Those men who readily express themselves especially when in distress, pain or hurt are the strongest men. They are strong because they are going against all those generational brain-washing norms that have been passed down their ancestral lines. In ancient societies, men who cried were banished from their respective communities.
Others became the ridiculed ones and were always used as punching bags by the bullies and older men. Some of them were even offered as sacrifices to the gods they worshipped at those times, especially as burnt offerings. When it came to hunting, some of them were even used as the bait to capture wild animals.
It is very common today to hear men being told,”wacha umama.” That is a very derogatory term to use because it shows that people perceive women as weak and fragile. If we are fragile, then we are as fragile as a nuclear bomb, one wrong move and an entire city is wiped out. Better yet, delicate like a rose, the petals are present but so are the thorns.
Why is our society built like this? Why are normal human emotions labelled so ignorantly? Why are men judged for just being human? Who is going to teach our sons and husbands that it is okay for them to cry, okay for them to hurt inside, okay for them to feel everything they are feeling without being apologetic about it?
Well, my sons, you should know, it is okay to feel the pain. You are not robots that are programmed to switch off your emotions. You are humans. The only difference between men and women are the genitals, the rest are all the same.
Physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically, we are all the same. There is no superior or inferior gender. Therefore, if you are having a bad day Kevo, and you want to scream as if it is your last scream, do so.
If your friend Deno seems to be dealing with a lot of things, be there for him. Do not patronize him and make him feel less of a man just because he does not want to seal his emotions like his mother
forced him too.
Men cry too and it okay not to be okay. As a matter of fact, I get attracted to broken people because I always want to fix people. Women love men who are not afraid to express their emotions.
There is so much power in addressing your demons. Power more mighty than you could imagine. The first time I saw my small brother cry was at a funeral. Before that, he used to lock himself in the room whenever he had a breakdown because he did not want anyone seeing him during his lows. It made me feel like I failed as a sister because he hides his true self from me.
On a lighter note, I think I am the family success card because as soon as my father raises his voice at me, tears trickle down on my visage. I could say he is my weakness. It is even harder for men to open up in this generation because some spawns of satan always ressolve to screenshots after such a minor understanding, which portrays the men incorrectly.
Boychild, do not kill yourself with stress, depression, anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder and the likes. Open up. There are women and men out there willing to help you deal with your pain. Talking about your issues is the first stage to recovery. Take your time, as much time as you need, but, do not bottle it inside. At some point you will explode which may lead to you projecting it to people that do not deserve it.
At the end of the day, you are not alone. You do not have to wipe your tears away, tomorrow is another day.
Nothing is permanent regardless, you got this.