Somebody’s decision to be with you or not to be with you is a personal
choice and it should not be triggered or forced. No means “no”, not “try
and change my mind”. If you have been following the blogs very closely this
week, you will realize that there has been a breach of information when it
comes to consent.
People, especially South Africans have been a very trending topic in regards
to the rape and murder of a nineteen-year-old female student known as
Uyinene Mrwetyana. She was studying film studies at the University of
Cape Town, having been reported missing for the past couple of days. Her
body was recovered after a man named Luyanda Botha was arrested for
her rape and murder. He confessed and after further back and forth with
the law enforcers, he readily admitted to the heinous acts and said, ‘Wow,
hey this child gave me trouble. Took forever to die.’
A whole grown-ass man who could be a father, a brother, an uncle, a
postman, actually said that it took long for his victim to die. In this
patriarchal world, he will likely walk Scott-free as people of his calibre
continue to assault and rape men and women. After all, there are no strict
rules governing rape as compared to other crimes. In fact, sexual assault,
domestic violence and rape are really belittled if you look at the Kenyan
constitution. The church itself does not recognize marital rape because they
consider it ‘conjugal rights.’ The irony in that has no depth. It has reached
a point where now women are simply being scared of even existing.
We will hear the usual, ‘do not walk alone’, ‘do not get drunk’, ‘do not wear
short or tight clothes’, ‘do not go to parties and clubs’, ‘do not trust men.’ I
find this absurd because they should be raising up men and women with
the right values and teaching them to respect boundaries and learn how to
treat people with dignity and respect. Keep in mind that men get raped too.
Secondly, generalizing and using terms like ‘men are trash’ is not a call for
attention or sexism. This term actually got frequently used as a way to raise
awareness about the injustices that women face from job discrimination to
rape to gender-based violence and the likes.
It gave rise to male and female feminists to stand up against the injustices.
They also fought the allies because if you support such actions then you are
just as bad as the perpetrators. Men should be able to call out other men
on their nonsense without feeling biased. Victimization is simply telling
women that simply existing is already life-threatening. You have failed as a
parent the moment you allow your sons to get away with things your
daughters are not allowed to do. Another malicious trend was when
Kenyans were being stripped at the CBD for wearing what they are
Whether a woman decides to parade in a buibui, a short dress, trousers,
shorts, when a rapist wants to rape, they will rape. They rape individuals,
not outfits. You cannot attack a woman because of her expression just
because you cannot control your gaze and thoughts. Everyone is entitled to
wear what they want, to go where they want, to drink until they lose their
senses, after all, it is their life and money they are using, not yours.
Therefore, keep your petty catcalls, your stares, your nonsensical opinions
because this is a whole new revolution. As you try to bring down women
and some men, we will fix the nation. We will no longer be silent. We shall