HOW TO SATISFY YOUR LADY IN BED

Did you make her cum to her senses?

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Let’s talk about sex baby, let’s talk about you and me. In this sin city, it is safe to say that men are not doing their work. Could be why women are out here on a lesbian rampage. The truth is, women know how to put it down on other women better than men.

 A woman can make you tremble from here to Golgotha accompanied by multiple orgasms. The usual question after ninety seconds of pudesh being massaged by the boy child, “did you cum?”; “Yes, to the wrong house.” Might as well call my cab and masturbate at the comfort of my bed.

Such men should never even ask whose pussy it is because ata na madawa, it can never be yours. We are tired of vanilla sex, tired of making love with people that do not please us. Why don’t you go all out, blow my back, bite, choke, spank, whip, blind-fold, cuff, tease, and then maybe just maybe attempt to make me cum?

In this life, I have experienced so much, and I mean so much but orgasms – that is a rumour.

It is totally foreign to my body and the day I actually cum, I will share it with the world. There is no lie that different things work for different people but there are also quite common factors. For instance, long, slow, deep strokes will never fail you if you have a proper mjulubeng.

READ ALSO: 9 POSITIONS TO EXPLORE FOR ORAL SEX

However, if yours plays ‘tipo tipo’ then bro, itabidi you pump because we could be getting our nails done while you are at it, and trust me, the only thing that would likely make us twitch is our feet being scrubbed. 

Doggy style is not for the faint-hearted though, especially if the guy is packing. I nearly had a cardiac arrest once after my organs were rearranged. It’s mainly reserved for these shrimp members because they cannot reach the rectum. That contact with the rectum is what makes women sound like they are ululating. 

Do you want to know the magical secret? Do you now? The secret to mind-blowing orgasms is taking your sweet time on your lady. Unlike men who are very physical, women tend to be emotional. For instance, I can’t have sex with a man without a mental connection.

READ ALSO: THE HOW-TO FOR WAMLAMBEZ; WANYONYES MANENOS

So what are the odds that the lady you have been sleeping with for the last 2 months is even connected to you? She probably has to think about her ex while you are there sweating on her and putting her in weird positions because once you are done with your ringtone performance, you will be the subject of discussion on the group chat. 

So, take your sweet time, have some little foreplay at least, not just one minute of kissing and your soldier is already out. Do not get misled by the likes of Willy Paul telling you to lamba nyonyo when he cannot even grow a hairline. Explore her body; finger her until she squirts, if you know the motion.

Just don’t waste her time.

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