Elevate your place in your crush's life


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There is a fine line between showing interest and being too clingy on a crush. You don’t want to be too needy. The problem with dealing with a crush is that if you show them too much attention, it will go to their heads. They will take advantage of these feelings. But then again, if you show less interest, they will swiftly move on. You have to strike a balance.

First things first, you should not elevate your place in your crush’s life. It’s okay to date him in your head, but don’t put it into action until he gives you the go-ahead. Don’t break an arm and a leg to impress him. Men have a hidden talent of taking advantage of such vulnerability. A crush can even make you change. This is notable even in the things you like. All of a sudden you start liking the things he fancies. This doesn’t impress him though. It makes you look foolish.

This is especially true when you cannot sustain that act.  If he truly likes you back, he should not mind that you don’t have everything in common. There is always beauty in finding someone who is different from you. Just be yourself.  Having a conversation is one way you can get to know your crush better. What he likes and what he doesn’t.

However, sometimes he might not be in the mood or he is just too busy. It’s okay to double text but to double text twice in a row is a no-no sis. That is the first sign that he is not into you. It’s even worse when you keep asking why he blueticked you. Jiheshimu kidogo. Instagram is also another place where you get to know someone better. This is especially if he is the type who overshares on social media.

However, there is a golden rule to follow when you exchange account names. Do not like all his photos including the ones he might have posted long ago. I know there is that urge to even check who has tagged him. But, kula tu kwa macho. This will save you the embarrassment of looking like a stalker. There is no problem in trying to make conversation. Communication is always key even in the simplest of friendships. However, do not always give too much information about yourself.


These are things that he never asked you. Maybe he simply wants to know how your day was but there you are – you even start talking about your great grandmother. Watch his expressions or how he is responding to you. This will show you if he’s truly interested in what you are saying or if it’s too much information he never asked for. Just remember that a crush is a crush until he makes things official. Do not rush stuff. If he is not ready, your moves might scare him off or make him lose interest. It’s no lie that guys love the chase. They take pride in it so don’t make it too easy for him

For more information on He and She vibe grab a copy of The Outsyder in The Nairobian every Friday.

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