Don't lose the power struggle tests!


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I have come to realize that relationships are good and all but as a man, you have to be ten times more cautious than when you are single. You have to understand that you will now be sharing some of your darkest secrets, your vulnerability and even trust with one of the most cunning creatures that ever walked this earth, a woman. In the beginning, you will be blinded by the romance and love that will be showered your way but remember that she is simply sacrificing her pawns.

When she stops sacrificing her pawns and starts coming for your king, be sure not to hand over your power. Here are some tests that women will dish your way to tempt you into giving up your power and control as the head of the house. When she starts telling you, “Oh, you’ve really lost weight, or you’re really losing hair nowadays” while in real sense you aren’t, then you better be careful. They are testing you to see whether you will start being insecure about yourself or not. If you fall into this trap and start maybe eating more or hitting the gym or doing implants, just know that you have made yourself vulnerable.

She will take credit for it and make you feel as if she is more attractive than you hence you are really lucky to have her. You will then lose your confidence and start feeling like you are not worthy to have her and it’s a privilege that she loves you. At that point, you will have given her the power over you, she will call almost all the shots. Never let her do this! In fact Mwanaume ni kitambi! Mwanaume ni mfuko! Don’t be fooled by such nonsense!  She starts giving you the silent treatment over some petty issues or no issues at all.

This is just a sign of a power struggle and some attention-seeking. The most common reaction from most men is to panic and start worrying if they made a mistake and if the ladies might leave them. Don’t worry, this is a common tendency among ladies. It’s a way of sucking more power from men. If you fall into her trap and start being nicer to her then you are essentially handing power over to her. You are giving into her demands. Instead, tackle the matter by also giving her the same reaction, women are impatient and they overthink too much.

They are very insecure creatures. They will reach out faster than you expected. They start saying no to your requests. This is a power test and you have to be very keen on how you react. Don’t react by getting annoyed, angry, or frustrated, or start begging and pleading like a baby. Such a reaction will reveal your deepest insecurities and worst of all, your level of immaturity.


You can’t afford to let a lady know that much about you, or she will exploit them every time there is a power struggle. The best thing is to ignore her responses so as to avoid giving her even a hint of vulnerability. Men who know how to handle the tests that their women push their way, know how to maintain their position of power in the relationship and make their women feel even more secure.  Always know that if you understand how women think and operate, you stand a better chance of knowing what they want and how to satisfy them.

For more information on He vibe grab a copy of The Outsyder in The Nairobian every Friday.

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