Getting disappointed by men is not a new thing. It’s one of the reasons we keep singing men are trash. Being women, we tend to forgive it all. However, if there is one thing that is hard to forgive is underperformance in bed. Men should learn how to walk their talk. A woman shouldn’t have to cross counties for him only to get disappointed in bed.
I met one of my girlfriends for drinks after work. We don’t usually drink on weekdays but this was an exception. I sipped my whiskey sour listening to her rant about a guy she had met on Instagram. They had been talking for a while and by talking I mean dirty texts sent at 2 am. They planned to finally put all this to action. She spent the entire Saturday getting ready for him. She shaved and took pineapple juice all day. She was promised heaven so she had to get ready for it. She didn’t even ask for fare from Kikuyu to Juja to go see him, she just wanted some. The trip was a total waste of her time and was not what she had expected.
She isn’t the first person who has told me that a booty call went wrong because of the man. This means there’s something that men are doing wrong and none of their hood niggas will correct them. And that’s where I come in. Here’s where you men may be going wrong. If you want to make her come back for more, first you need to work on your foreplay.
Foreplay is the most important part of successful sex. Yes, a woman’s mind might be already set for action but her body might not be. You need to stimulate her first. Make her body respond and get ready for you. ‘She will enjoy it along the way’ is a mentality that you need to get out of your mind. Successful foreplay is as good as successful sex. The other thing is, do not bring what you see in porn videos to bed. Take your time to know what the lady wants. Don’t rush into things. Remember, every woman is wired differently.
What works for one woman may not work with the other one. Take your time to understand what she enjoys and what she doesn’t. Don’t make her feel like a slut and it doesn’t matter if it was a quick booty call or a long term thing. You need to make her feel good both before and after sex. Make pillow talk and cuddling a priority as it will make her feel safe. It’s pretty easy to please a woman, you just need to pay attention.
For more information on sex grab a copy of The Outsyder in The Nairobian every Friday.