‘A woman who works is a woman who will give you trouble in a relationship,’ this is the theory that men have believed and passed on through generations. It has become a tug of war between the genders. This has grown to the point where any working woman is branded the name, Miss Independent. There is a huge difference between a Miss Independent and a responsible woman.
Miss Independents are the type of women who feel that they do not need anyone in their lives and a responsible woman is a woman who grinds hard to be able to pay her own bills. Miss Independents are the type of women who have grown up to hate men because of past traumas and this has led them to work their asses off to prove a point. On the other hand, a responsible woman is a woman who is just trying to survive, with no resentment towards men.
Nonetheless, 90% of men do not prefer either. Most go to the extent of bashing an honest hardworking woman. They go on to say how unsexy it is for her to work so hard. This is so sad considering the generation we are in. Who still condemns a working woman? It goes without saying that men hate being challenged.
A working woman is definitely a challenge. Having your own hustle opens up your mind to independence. This does not give a man a chance to dictate your life. It will also make it hard for a man to tie you down to what he wants. To add on to this, men also feel like a working woman diminishes his manliness. It is no lie that men take pride in being ‘worshipped
They like knowing that they are the thing a woman wants. They like having that assurance that if they leave, the woman will miss them and their support. However, having a responsible woman is the best thing that can happen in a man’s life. Having someone that has her life figured out makes life easier. When she is down, you can come through for her and if you are the one in problems, she can also come through for you.
It also makes you two grow together and plan for the future. As much as we like the power that comes with money, we should not let it get to our heads. It is very okay having your own stuff and affording things. The problem comes in when you do not let your man be a man. As I said, taking care of their mamis makes men feel manly.
So, give him that chance even though you know you can afford it yourself. The most important thing is to give them that respect. Once you get into a relationship, you should understand that it’s not just you. You two are an item. So, never feel the pressure to prove a point to your boyfriend. Instead, swallow your feminist pride a little and make things work with him. Remember, as much as men are sometimes trash, they have feelings too.
For information on He and She vibe grab a copy of The Outsyder in The Nairobian every Friday.