PORN MYTHS

Don't try this at home, at school or anywhere!

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It’s really disappointing to realize that for almost the entirety of civilization, society has been really poor at teaching people about sex. Parents have shied away from addressing the topic with their children because their parents also failed in doing so.

Teachers have made sex look wicked and drilled its negative effects into students’ minds. They’ve chosen to talk about STIs and early pregnancies over healthy sexual practices. The society has condemned sex as a shameful act and declared it a crime to be talked about publicly. Therefore, all we’ve really got as an actual resource is porn.

Parents no longer teach their daughters motherhood or how to satisfy their men in bed. Same applies to fathers and their sons. The easiest place to learn about sex is via watching porn, unfortunately. However, porn stars have created a fantasy world that explores some extremes that can only be performed under controlled environments with lots of it being staged.

Some of those bizarre tropes tend to create a make-believe world for porn addicts and vulnerable youth looking to have fun and explore various sexual adventures. This has led to quite a number of youth ending up in hospital emergency halls at bizarre hours of the night because ‘ sex sent them to the ER’. Here are a few porn myths that you should never try at home.

Spit is the best lube.

Eeewww! First of all, this tendency is disgusting, let alone unnatural. Saliva is a very poor lubricant because from experience when you lick your dry lips to make them moist, they will end up even dryer than before. Its also insulting to spit saliva on a woman’s vagina.

A woman’s vagina was meant to naturally get moist/wet when she is sexually aroused but when that doesn’t happen, then you as a man have failed. When you apply saliva then chances are, it will dry up before you cum and instead of enjoying the experience, you will be harming your partner.

She might end up with blisters after that. If you can’t make her wet then stop abusing the saliva’s functions to make up for your ‘short’ comings in bed. Learn how to nail the foreplay before you stick your shaft in her vagina boy! Spitting is an act that can only be likened to animal-like behaviours such as sniffing a woman’s genitals. It’s just not human at all.

Deep throat is king!

If you believe this, then you are still a blow job rookie. Those ladies who have specialized in nut jerking blow jobs, those that make men moan like goats and tremble with excitement will advise you not to try this. Especially with men who are blessed below the abdomen, the ‘omundu strongs’ of sex.

The bigger the dick, the riskier the deep throat! You may end up with a gag reflex, jaw lock or even sore throat in some cases. There are ladies who have some painful post-deep throat experiences that will send chills all over your spine. ‘I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, and then I decided to try out a deep throat since I thought it would make him come easily.

He had a huge dick! The next thing I remember is I couldn’t move my jaws. I had gotten a jaw lock. Luckily enough, we knew a thing or two about first aid. If not that, I couldn’t even believe the thought of having to go to the hospital for help. What would I even say?’ one of our correspondents said. ‘I had a terrible sore throat after that, I couldn’t even swallow food with ease,’ another correspondent admitted.

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Ass to anywhere.

Anal sex is usually very sensitive and not as simple as porn stars make it seem. Before you have anal sex with a woman, you need to sit down and have a discussion about the same since there are quite a number of challenges involved.

In fact, wreaking someone’s butthole without proper lubrication like lube is painful and has dangerous health consequences. That’s not even it, the theory of ass to anywhere is has far much worse consequences than you think. One of them is the ass to mouth theory.

Porn stars interrupt scenes between ass to-mouthing to go and clean their shafts behind the scenes. It’s gross to stick your ‘s***t smeared shaft into someone’s mouth because you think it’s sexy. Another one is shifting to the adjacent hole after an anal. As much as this is a regular thing on porn videos, it’s ungodly and a very huge health risk. The woman can end up with a very nasty UTI from you sticking your bacteria-filled shaft in
her vagina.

Ridiculous porn sex positions. 

Before you even try bending someone’s daughter into some monkey-like positions in the name of explosive sex, ask yourself, would you be comfortable in that position? Would you even get a boner in that position? Therefore, just stop it guys. Have basic but enjoyable sex.

Some of these sex positions are simply used in porn because they give a perfect shooting angle where every action is vividly visible. But simply not for pleasure. Some of those positions are meant for flexible individuals who won’t have a problem twisting their bodies and they are not for the ordinary ones. The aim of amazing sex is to hit the G-spot and give your woman a once in a lifetime orgasm and also cum at the same time. 

Therefore, if you are an over-porned junky who wants to experiment every position you see in a porn video, then you should really be sorry for yourself. You will either end up dislocating someone’s organs or breaking their bones. 

Rough Sex is the Best 

This goes without saying, it’s one of the worst myths that any man should ever believe. Porn stars have been scripted to do more rough and fast sex to an extent that it has become a misconception that rough sex is better. The truth is, it isn’t.

Every woman has a unique way of enjoying sex. Each woman has their G-spot positioned differently, therefore to hit the G-spot you will have to find the perfect angle. That’s what matters. Whether it’s slow or fast, the goal still remains the same. There are women who love rough sex but most don’t actually like it.

Rough sex at times is good if you are looking to have a quickie and let some steam off but if you want to enjoy the experience, don’t opt for it. It makes you look like a freak or even a sexually abusive person at times. 

For more epic stories, grab a copy of The Outsyder in The Nairobian every Friday.

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