In this era, commitment is one of the things that scare the youth. As much as they don’t want commitments, there is still a need to satisfy their sexual needs. This is why a ‘Friends With Benefits’ arrangement is the most ideal way to kill two birds with one stone. There is no commitment but you are still getting satisfied.
As much as having a Friend with Benefits is the best way to survive the cold days and lonely nights, people usually go wrong when it comes to this kind of ‘relationship’. One of the most important rules of a successful FWB arrangement is not to catch feelings. But how do you make sure you don’t? First things first, do not get too personal with your partner.
Do not share deeply personal and emotional stuff with them. This will make you get too attached to them. You will start feeling that he or she will always be there for you and you’ll start building a connection with them. This is the quickest way of developing feelings.
Another thing is to not let your partner always be your shoulder to lean on. There are days where you will feel like life is a bit too much and you need to let off some steam. Sex is the best way to do this.
However, the cuddling and pillow talk after sex about the thing that pissed you off is something you shouldn’t do. Your brain and your heart will get too comfortable.
Communication is always key in whatever relationship you have. However, when it’s overdone, feelings get involved. Avoid small talk like “Have you eaten?” Remember, you are just friends who are smashing.
So, keep conversations as simple as you would with any other friend. Respect should also be there. As much as you are just smashing, you need to realize that your partner is still human. So, make the dick appointments as comfortable as you can make them. Get them food and maybe a drink, see them off afterwards. Do not make them feel like an item that can be discarded at any time. Nevertheless, do not go overboard with this. Remember that too much attention may lead the other person to catch feelings.
So, just be casual with everything. It’s easy to feel a bit jealous when you realize that you may not be the only one or if your partner is chasing someone else. This is a feeling that you should avoid. First, you both agreed to the terms of the Friends with Benefits arrangement. Feeling jealous is a sign of ownership. You feel like you own the person and you cannot own something you don’t like.
This means that you are getting some feelings for them. So, avoid that idea that you own your partner. You don’t. Disclaimer: 95% of Friends with Benefits relationship do not work. At the end of it all, one of you if not both of you will catch feelings. This will complicate everything. When you find yourself in such an agreement, know that it might not end well. Don’t have high expectations. If the agreement comes to an end, make sure you let go of the person and move on.
For more information on sex grab a copy of The Outsyder in The Nairobian every Friday.