THE COCO-NUT CHALLENGE IS MAKING LADIES DUMBER!

The sensual sex challenge that has taken the internet by a storm has been driving ladies crazy in the past few weeks and it just makes me sick! This so-called ‘coconut’ challenge is as ridiculous as the age-appropriate internet users who are whining their waists all over social media trying to prove how flexible they are in bed.

If you want to prove you are that flexible, why not just hit me up and let me take you on a Kama sutra sex marathon to see if you will survive? Ladies have idolized this challenge and made it look as if spelling ‘coconut’ on a man’s dick is really sexy and more ‘nut’ jerking than any other sex position. But the truth is, men don’t actually like it. We don’t even vouch for it and it’s not as sexy as you think! My last experience almost left me dick-maimed.

Actual experience… It was around the beginning of last month and the challenge was just starting to gather pace on Twitter.  Of course, everyone was curious about the whole coconut challenge but for the Twitter gurus like me and my FWB, we had already gone a notch higher with the topic. We never miss out on steamy things like these! She was already daring me to do the challenge! I couldn’t pass that bruh… I didn’t hesitate to curve my ‘dyslexia’ girlfriend for my curvy, flexible, thick ass FWB.

I was really excited and charged for this new adventure that I didn’t give it a second thought since my emotions were wild at that time. I was like a predator ready to pounce on its prey. I knew this was going to be the best sex of my life. I cleaned the house, ordered some junk food and sprayed the beddings with my new found Gucci Guilty perfume.

I had to set the mood and everything had to be perfect. Immediately she arrived, we pounced on each other. It started well. I could feel her sensuous lips against mine, her hips gyrating with pleasure on my lower part until she whispered ‘Is dzadzzy ready for the coconut challenge?’ I could only moan my approval. Immediately she started whining her waist on my shaft, I realized this was all bullshit. It wasn’t as sweet as I thought it would be.

It was sexy and sensual I agree, but not nut jerking, and that was a complete turn off for me. I realized I wasn’t going to cum by her spelling some dumb letters on top of my dick and so I had to regain control and end the show like a real OG. I wasn’t about to let down Johny Sins just like that and I have his wallpaper on my ceiling. Imagine underperforming while Johny Sins is staring at you from above? That’s a disgrace! After that, I felt as if my shaft muscles were about to tear!

The truth is, this coconut challenge doesn’t work at all! Doing it simply means a lady is sitting on the dick and tries spelling coconut with her hips. That is like playing around with a joystick! Nobody’s dick is an old gear stick that has to be moved around like a joystick while someone is sitting on it! You could break someone’s precious dick dummy! Nobody masturbates like that!

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Ladies, you need to stop being lazy and ride a dick the way it’s supposed to be done! Stop this ridiculous internet bullshit called coconut or Zagadat or whatever, and go back to the basics. Sit on that dick, raise your hip a little bit, then twerk on that dick! Stroke your hip up and down on that dick the way it’s supposed to! Stop following these crazy internet challenges, they are making you dumber!

For more information about real situations on He and She vibe grab a copy of The Outsyder in The Nairobian every Friday.