THE SMASH LIST: COOKIE GETTING

Guys who get the cookie with no stress!

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Relationships have become commercialized and love is now being measured on the metrics of wealth, influence and money. It’s now harder to win a girl’s heart genuinely without any extra leverage. You would only win her heart with money, influence, wealth or you just must be really charming. (Doubtful)

While looking at the odds, the majority of men fall into the latter, which is to use their charm. Despite this, many of these men still lack the knowledge of how to charm a woman to fall in love with them let alone get her between the sheets. It gets even harder for unemployed broke college youth.

It’s truly survival for the fittest! TRUE, there are still those lads with some kind of natural charm that women can’t resist no matter what. They deploy minimal effort but still get the cookie and we all know this.

So, who are these guys who get the cookie without the stress?

Photographers. Ogopa photographers! They are the most notorious individuals when it comes to taking advantage of women and having sex with them. With the growth of Instagram modelling, photographers have become a hot cake in the city with every young girl wanting a piece of them. They have taken advantage of the fact that most young girls think they can model and hence end up clinging on to these photographers to help them build their portfolios. Young ladies are constantly drawing inspirations from celebrities like Kim Kardashian and turning to photographers to bring to life their imaginations. But considering the fact that most youth have financial challenges, many end up paying up or getting discounts with their bodies. And that’s the price that, nowadays, women are willing to pay for fame. Not surprising at all! 

Gym Trainers. Obvious culprits especially when it comes to married women. Marriage always has its challenges and one of them is sex. Sex with the same partner often becomes boring after you have been together for several years and time starts showing no mercy to your bodies. The man starts losing the vibrancy that he once possessed in bed and how often the couple has sex also reduces. Then comes the fitness trainer, young, vibrant, energetic and physically fit. The hot guy who every lady talks about at the gym. Trust me this guy won’t make any effort. In fact, the ladies will fight for him within that gym. And they never disappoint. They also never turn down an opportunity. This one you can even investigate for yourself. 

Church boys. It’s often said, don’t judge a book by its cover. It would surprise you that the neatly dressed altar boy with a bow tie and polished shoes, whose mother is in the choir and his father a preacher, is the number one culprit of cookie-getting. It’s quite disheartening to know that some of these church boys are the most dangerous men around ladies. They take advantage of the fact that women approach them with the mentality that they are innocent and harmless hence they let their guard down around them. And then they strike just when the ladies aren’t expecting. Especially after Sunday afternoon bible study sessions. Beware!

Geeks/IT experts. Nobody could have thought that the silent guy who looks shy and sits at the front of the class, the guy who rarely parties and has just one friend could be a very lethal sex predator. They use their brains to take advantage of innocent girls who like hanging out around them thinking that they are safe. But behind closed doors, they show girls different types of calculus haha! Then there are the IT experts who are most notorious on weekends when they invite girls over to fix their ‘laptops’. 

Conductors. This might come as a surprise to some but not to others. Have you ever wondered why conductors often seem to know every pretty lady that uses their route? Or have you ever wondered ‘mbona unalipishwa soo na analipishwa chuani route same?’ You guessed it right. Women call them ‘Fuliza’. They are the booty call lads when the chick is on a dry spell and the boyfriend is acting up. 

Lecturers. This goes without saying. Lecturers, especially the young ones are an automatic turn on to young campus ladies. Most ladies seduce them to gain favour when it comes to class attendance and awarding marks. But what remains surprising is that it’s very rare to find young lecturers who turn down such opportunities. They barely make an effort. Girls from all walks of life approach them demanding for favours here and there. So if you notice your girl starting to talk too much about her lecturer, think twice.

 

Best friends. These are the most dangerous vipers in the world. They are like vipers that look harmless when they are still but when they get an opportunity they strike fast and quick. The so-called best friends who always know everything about the girl, the ‘leaning shoulder to cry on’, are always untrustworthy with your girl.

They are the ones who take advantage of girls and ‘console’ them when they undergo dark moments in their relationships. They strike when the girl is emotionally broken and unsteady. They come in to console her and end up supporting her in other ways. Sex is the best therapy they say.

Fake gay guys.  In the wake of the LGBTQ campaign, some men are faking to be gay just to gain some trust from the ladies. Women tend to trust them more with their privacy since they seem to be sexually harmless. With time, women often forget and start handling them as they do their fellow girls and open their hearts to them. They let down their guards around them and these fake gay guys use these insecurities against them to a point where they become defenceless against them. Then after they smash a certain group of girls, they move on to the next one realizing that their identity has been uncovered. 

Bartenders.  Bartenders are a walking safe of secrets for sure. People who like using alcohol as a way of therapy when they are stressed or heartbroken often end up striking some of the most private conversations with bartenders unknowingly. Under the influence of alcohol and under pressure, getting someone who can listen to you and console you is one of the best things you can ever wish for. Women who find themselves in such situations always risk ending up in the bartender’s bed or risk being taken advantage of somewhere besides the street. They drink too much and end up depending on the stranger (bartender) who showed them comfort to get them home. The only question is who’s home? 

READ ALSO:SIX PACK VS KIJANA MFUPI ROUND

Peddlers/ Plugs.  The peddler holds all the keys. He holds the key to your freedom and might just be having the key to ladies pants. Female addicts are often willing to do anything just to get a hold of their chosen drug and that might even include trading sex. At times, peddlers trick their customers into consuming together and end up having sex with their customers. People also assume that peddlers (drug dealers) always have money hence some girls are attracted to them because of their lifestyle. Their bad-boy nature gives them a bonus into women’s hearts. 

Do you agree with this list? Let us know in the comments section below.

For more from The Outsyder Magazine, grab your copy in The Nairobian every Friday.

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